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Children bring their mothers enormous pride and joy when they are engaged to be married. The planning for the mother of the bride and groom outfits can begin once the rush of the amazing news subsides. Mother of the bride and groom outfits should be comfortable, well fitted and age appropriate, and can be matched to the color, theme and style of the bridal party. Mothers matching their suits has been routine for several years. Attending other weddings, reading bridal magazines and visiting bridal dress department stores can start the journey. Having an idea in mind as to style preference when starting the search may also be a good idea.

My son recently was asked to attend as best man in in one of his friend's weddings. The mother of the groom was perturbed throughout most of the planning stages for the marriage because not all her ideas were put to use. The bride's mother tried to interest the groom's mother in the shopping process for their outfits, however the groom's mother had no interest.. The bride's mother selected her outfit choosing as her mother of the bride outfit an elegant, stylish and flattering gown. She looked beautiful and was a compliment to the entire wedding. The groom's mother chose as her mother of the groom outfit the same dress style as the bridesmaids, but in a slightly different hue. Unfortunately, the dress was not age appropriate or flattering to the groom's mother and she spent one of the most memorable days she would ever have feeling sorry and absurd.

Some insights. When looking for a mother of the bride or groom gown, courteously ask the bride if she has anything in particular in mind and if you wish, invite her along for fittings and to help select what she may want you to wear. The bride can have input if she and you want it, but do not hesitate to speak up if the gown she prefers is unflattering or cost is an issue.

Department stores have special mother of the bride and groom sections. Keep in mind you don't have to get your gown from a specialty dress shop. Department stores sell formal wear for special times of the year and unique occasions. Guaranteed, those outfits will be lower priced than a gown in a specialty shop.

If, however, the bride has chosen something unique in a particular store, you may want to seriously consider her choice. If cost is an issue, remind her of that fact and look for something very close. If she is still adamant, then compromise becomes the solution. This is the bride and groom's special moment and it requires cooperation and support from the mother of the bride and groom. Once you feel the love and happiness on this day, every dispute will be forgotten and you'll be the happiest mothers of the bride and groom ever.

The wedding my son was in made me recognize that the day belongs to the bride and groom, not me. I will assist them. I will offer suggestions if it's requested, hold my counsel if it's not. I will even allow them input on the mother of the bride and groom outfits so as to not mortify them as their friend was mortified. Realizing that this is the bride and groom's day and not anyone elses may be the most valuable lesson to come out of my children wedding day.

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